indefinable somethings

Today.

I’ve declared it. Another dead blog. I’m fickle, but so is the world.
Here’s my new blog –

http://dilatedpupils.theblog.ca

I hope you all continue to support my self-indulgence.

Much love to your parents,

me

…NOT!! It was my freaking birthday!!
Thanks to all my family/friends/imaginary stalkers for your well-wishes. It was oh so very much appreciated — computer mediated, GIANT hug to you all!

So with my diplomatic “thank you’s” out of the way, let me continue with some profound contributions to this freshly minted blog.

First off, I’m feeling a little apprehensive about this new home. Xanga was so convivial and small. I had a tightly-knit ring of readers who “subscribed” to my lines of self-indulgence. For the most part, I knew who they were and could reciprocate the snooping.

This, on the other hand, this is big. I don’t like this vast, vast blogosphere that renders me feeling like Paris Hilton at a Chomsky reading – out of place, scared and thinking “huh?!”. I’m that 18 year old again, who, after leaving the nurturing confines of highschool, is confronted with the cold-steel reality of being lost in a pool of computer geeks and literary nerds. I am but one speck in a sea of millions again. Drama queen? I think not! Technorati has me ranked at 1,669,958, a status that does nothing but smother salt into my already gushing wound of low self-esteem.

So in conclusion I feel blue. Boohoo.

On a brighter note, today is my last day of work at my current place of employment. Farewell downtown Vancouver – thanks for the lunch club, impromptu shopping excursions and overcrowded skytrains that make it impossible for fare checks! High five for cheating the system!

Next week will mark my first foray into public relations. Funny where the course of life can take you. PR was the one area of marketing that I never really considered as a career option. I think that disinterest might have something to do with my penchant for hating people. Just kidding, “I’m extremely personable and can effectively communicate with all members of the public.” Wink and smile.

Since my birthday just passed — I’m resolving to make my 23rd year of existence more witty and less sarcastic.

Actually, as I grow..um…older…I’m developing a heightened desire to meet people. I love hearing stories — travel adventures, social/political missions, life events and everything else miscellaneous. Sometimes, I’m left depressed about my lackluster back-story, but more often than not, I’m left feeling inspired and compelled to marry the person in question (if male and sexy).

On that note, here are two unlikely men that I have deemed “whoa baby, let’s be ‘friends’” attractive:

Kwame Jackson (Apprentice 1) and Dr. Burke (Grey’s Anatomy). They both possess a ‘Je ne sais quois’ quality that I can’t quite put a finger on. However, if this attraction is an indication of the obvious, then my recent bout of single’ness really has nothing do with my personal “issues” and everything to do with numbers. I think it’s time for this little Asian girl to relocate to Maryland, girls.

Man, one of my ‘bringers of smart’ tracked back my link. Thanks for the comment, and apologies for the trivial content of this post. SEE! This would never happen on Xanga.

In an effort to kill time at work, I browsed through all my past xanga entries. It was a refreshing hour of grimacing at horrific spelling errors; self-congratulating myself for some beautifully crafted sentences; and reliving both the banal and profound moments of the past three years.

Wow. Three years. What the H.E. double hockey sticks?

Much to the chagrin of some close friends, I’ve been incessantly vocal about how life is passing me by and soon I’ll be 105 and dead. Although my eluding youth is a license for spiraling depression, after reading about my past, I’m left with an unusual feeling of wonder. All of that happened in just three years? All of those defining successes, failures and heartaches, they were all compacted into three, measly years? Wow. On the one hand, I’m relieved, because ostensibly life hasn’t left me in the dust with only my highschool self to show for it. On the other hand, three years have passed and I’m barely the person my highschool self had envisioned I would become.

Where’s the Olympic medal? Where’s the almost-completed, Oscar worthy screenplay? Where’s the blonde hair, chiseled-chest, firm man-pecks, Aussie? But you know what? My highschool self never planned for half of the life events that did happen to happen either. And I remain eternally grateful for the unexpected.

These next three years are going to be interesting. Someone’s going to flourish in a career. Someone’s going to leave the country and uncover some self-actualizing epiphanies. Someone’s going to get married. Someone’s going to buy some RRSPs and mortgage a house.

One of those someones better be named ‘me’.

Hello new friend!